


The LWA Drabble Vault

by HollowClock



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:49:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26956852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollowClock/pseuds/HollowClock
Summary: Between never finishing fics I tend to write a lot of short drabbles for my own and others amusement, I've never really known what to do with these, until now. Here you'll find varying drabbles of length and quality, some were made for pure comedic reasons, others were tests for AU's or other ideas, either way, I hope you enjoy. I will try and keep them categorised together, 'try'.
Relationships: Atsuko "Akko" Kagari/Sucy Manbavaran, Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari, Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari/Sucy Manbavaran, Diana Cavendish/Hannah England/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari, Hannah England/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari, Ursula Callistis | Chariot du Nord/Croix Meridies
Kudos: 48





	1. The First Lot

**Author's Note:**

> I had to been holding onto these for some time, always intending to upload, but it wasn't until I saw [TracedInAir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TracedInAir/pseuds/TracedInAir) and their series [Incorrect LWA Quotes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26748142), I decided to release this monstrosity as is.

** Translation (NOT) required **

**  
**_A spell goes haywire at Luna Nova causing all the foreign students to revert to their native languages, making it so many students can not understand one another._  
  
**Akko:** _-decided to use this newfound chaos/freedom to poke fun or just outright flirt with anyone she can-_  
  
**Sucy:** _-uses this time to follow Akko around with a note pad-_  
  
_One adventure and spell reversal later_  
  
**Lotte:** "Sucy? Why were you following Akko around all day?"  
  
**Sucy:** "So I can translate what she's been saying once the spell was lifted."  
  
**Akko:** ..."I need to leave"

* * *

**Let Amanda say F@ &K! Pt.1**

**  
****Amanda:** "FRICK!..., wait, I didn't want to say frick, I wanted to say frick! Why can't I say frick!"

 **Finnelan:** "Luna Nova is enchanted to prevent any profanity being uttered in its halls by the student body, ensuring a pleasnt time for all"  
  
**Amanda:** "Oh Grapes, you've gotta be fricking me"

**Let Amanda say F@ &K! Pt.2  
  
**

**Amanda:** "Frick, Akko, Please, you've got to teach me some fricking japanese curses to get past this dratting spell!" **  
  
****Akko:** "Japanese doesn't have any swear words" **  
  
****Amanda:** _-soft sobbing-_

**Let Amanda say F@ &K! Pt.3**

**Lotte:** "I heard a rumor that if someone who is pure curses, then the spell will be lifted" **  
**

**Amanda:** "What the frickity frack does that mean?" **  
  
****Lotte:** "I assume it means someone who has never sworn before" **  
  
Group: **_-turns to Diana-_ **  
  
****Diana:** "Actually, I curse all the time" **  
  
****Group:** "WHAT WHEN!" **  
****  
**_-earlier-_ **  
****  
****Diana muttering underbreath:** "Holy frick, Akko's legs look dratting delicious today"  


* * *

**Never change**

**Akko:** "I once thought it would be nice to cut my hair short, until I showed Diana, she screamed and threw a chair at me because she thought I was an intruder"

* * *

** I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus **

  
  
**Akko & Diana's Child:** "Okãsan! I saw mommy kissing Santa!"  
  
**Akko:** "DIANA YOU HUSSY, HOW COULD YOU!"  
  
**Diana** : _-pinching the bridge of her nose-_ "Akko you dunce, you were santa"  
  
**Akko:** "DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE WHITE HAIR!"  
  
**Diana:** _-pulls out a picture of Akko taking a selfie in full santa costume-_  
  
**Akko:** "That could be the REAL santa"  
  
**Diana:** "Okay that is enough, we both know santa isn't real"  
  
**Akko:** _-on the verge of tears-_ "Santa isn't real?"

* * *

** CAT AU test, it's an AU, where everyone is a cat... **

_the scent drifted through air and caught Akko's attention, the young trouble maker's ears perked and her nose wriggled in the direction of the unfamiliar aroma. It wasn't food, Akko knew food, food was delivered by humans or in the off cases behind the backs of buildings, but this still was not an unpleasant smell._ _The unfamiliarity heightened the young things curiosity as she made a Beeline for the smell, it seemingly called to her, or maybe it was just her in experience, last time she had followed her nose Akko found herself before a big angry thing teeth that chased her half way across town, apparently it was something called a 'dog', after escaping that with her tail between her legs, she had decided she did not like 'dogs', but no this was not a dog, or at least, as much as she could tell it wasn't, maybe dogs could smell different?_ _Following it through back alleys and rooftops, brought the young kit to a long stone wall, as her paws balanced the cold rough surface she saw where the scent had led her, it was another cat, or at least she thought she was? She was enchanting, fluffy and bright fur, very clean and well groomed, like a cloud perfectly perched upon a window ledge, her eyes glistened like moonlight on water. The closer Akko became, the more little details stuck out to her, such as her adorable short ears or her lengthy tail and the way she looked at he-.., OH SHIT SHE WAS LOOKING AT HER! Akko froze_ _The two stared at each other seemingly locked in eternity in a single moment, the two cats of different world, eyes gazed, pondering if either were friend or foe, Akko wanted to inch closer, she kinda sorta, really wanted to rub her scent along this cat, to feel her nice soft fur against her own.., but before she could even raise her paw or let out a mew, her ears twitched, two unseen cats shot from the window and started to block the path between her and Akko, hissing fiercely, making the young stray back up in fright._

* * *

**Press Mute**   
  


**Diana:** "Akko, I'm so mad at you right now, I'm going to take a vow of silence for a whole week." 

**Akko:** "You'd never be able to stay silent with my charm~ "

**Diana:** _ -curses herself with a silence spell-  _

**Akko: "** ...Why must you hurt me"

* * *

**A little bit of Roleplay Pt.1**   
  


**Akko:** _**-** steps int room wearing a Shiny Chariot Cosplay-_ "Oh Hello there, my ado- Diana what the hell" 

**Diana:** _-Also wearing a Shiny Chariot Cosplay-_ "I think our memos got mixed up"

**A little bit of Roleplay Pt.2**

**Chariot: "** So how have you and Diana been getting along?"

**Akko:** "Oh it's great, last night we dressed up as you!"  


**Chariot: "** Oh um.., did you go to a convention?"

**Akko: "** No"  


**Chariot:** "....oh"  


  
**A little bit of Roleplay Pt.3**   


**Diana:** _-dressed up as Croix leaning against Akko dressed as chariot-_ "Now chariot, why don't I get this off..." 

_ -struggles to get Croix's outfit off-  _

**Akko:** "So this is why Chariot's frustrated so much"

* * *

**Older does not always mean wiser**

  
  
**Ghost Diana:** "I just passed on some wise counsel to some insightful youth, what did you do today dear?"

**Ghost Akko:** "I found two kids arguing over who owned a broom, so I possessed the broom and made it attack them, now they've learned their friendship was more important than any item"  
  
**Ghost Diana:** "...."  
  
**Ghost Akko:** "Plus it was really fucking funny"

* * *

**Six Sense for Stupid**

  
  
**Diana:** "ah~ Today's been a nice relaxing day with.. no.. interruptions" -phones Akko-  
  
**Akko:** "Yes'm?"  
  
**Diana:** "I dunno what you are about to do, but stop it!"  
  
**Akko:** "How did yo-"  
  
**Diana:** "NO!.. JUST STOP IT"

* * *

**Diana likes to watch**   
  


**Hannah:** "A-akko, is kissing..., nice?"  


**Akko:** "Have you never kissed before?"

**Hannah:** _ -shyly looks away before shaking her head-  _

**Akko:** "Wanna try it?"

**Hannah:** "I-...I um..." _-nods-_

_ -The two start to lean in closely, their lips almost touching, when suddenly the door opens to reveal Diana-  _

**Akko:** "Hi Diana!"

**Hannah:** _ -sweating bullets-  _

**Diana:** "Akko..Hannah..What is happening here?"

**Hannah:** "We-well I .. we we're"  


**Akko:** "Hannah's never kissed before, so I was showing her how it felt."  


**Hannah:** _ -sweats even harder as she turns red-  _

**Diana:** "I see.." _-Sits in a position so she can watch the two of them-_ "Continue"

* * *

**Just.., some days**   
  


_ -Diana's phones rings-  _

**Diana:** "Akko? What is it?"  


**Akko:** "DIANA HELP I'VE LOST MY PHONE!"

**Diana:** _ -pulls her phone away from her ear to look at the caller ID 'Akko', sighs heavily- _

* * *

**Safe Space**

**Sucy:** _ -walks up behind Diana and leans into the back of her neck-  _

**Diana:** "Uh..." _-reaches for her phone and texts Akko-_

_**D:** -Sucy is leaning on me, What do I do? Give her a hug? _

**_A:_** _-Is she wrapping her arms around you?_

_**D:** -No, just leaning on me, do I kiss her? _

_ **A:** -Only if she starts nibbling! She's just tired, congratulations Diana you've been upgraded to a safe space _

**Diana:** _-trying to hold back tears-_ "I'm a safe space"

* * *

**Caught Red Handed**

**Akko:** "Uuurgh, you know..." _-sniffs-_ "you'd think with you two around it be impossible for me to get sick" _-sniffles-_

**Diana & Sucy:** _ -freeze-  _

**Akko:** "It's almost like" _-coughs-_ "You let me get sick just so you can" _-sniff-_ "enjoy nursing me back to health."  


**Diana:** "Akko that's just preposterous, we would never do something so self serving and put your life at risk just to- "

**Sucy:** "It took you three years of marriage to figure that out?"  


**Diana:** "SUCY!"

**Akko:** "I KNEW" _-cough, hack, cough-_

* * *

**Akko likes to watch**

  
  
**Sucy:** _ -brushes her fingers along side Diana's cheek, sliding her hair out of the way as she eye'd the frail heiress beneath her-  _

**Diana** : "Sucy..." _-tries to tilt her head away but feels said comforting hand reach and snatch her chin, as Sucy redirects and firmly hold Diana's gaze-_

**Sucy:** "Sssh.., I've always wanted to make you quiver beneath me, so let me enjoy this for as long as I want." 

**Diana:** "...A-Akko, aren't you..going to join?"

**Akko:** _-sitting on a chair watching-_ "... In a bit.. this is... this is hot"

* * *

**Sudiakko**   
  


_ Sucy's sickly frail hands slid through soft cloud like curl's of Diana's hair, the blonde who lay across her own bed sheets did not mind as focused on a particular book she had been meaning to get into, and was quite use to Sucy's cat like antics in her low energy mode, lying with heart exposed, as the singular eye focused on the simple action before her, combing through the lush locks between each tip. It was not unnatural, what was unexpected however, was for the shroom obsessed woman to speak _

"How on earth do you get your hair this soft and bouncy?" _The woman asked with a miserable expression upon her face._

"I did not take you for one care for the health of your own follicles? What brought this on?" _The Blonde asked with genuine surprised_

"Not knowing things infuriates me, I've tried to recreate whatever you do to my own head but..." _To this Sucy rose like a corpse rising from the grave, and Diana with her, as the sarcastic witch plucked a strand of her own hair and released it_

"See, no bounce"

"No.." _Diana reached forward hesitantly, one had to be invited to touch Sucy, very few were allowed to do it on sheer reaction alone, and once she had the nod, Diana threaded her fingers through the girl's locks_ "But it is smooth, I believe it suits you just fine" _She said with an honest smile_

"What about my hair?" _The resident brunette chimed in, having watched the exchange between her girlfriend's with giddy excitement, while also being forced to attend to her endless amount of homework_

"It is atrocious" _The two chimed together_

"HEY!"

* * *

**Rivals until the end**

**Lotte:** "I think all the Christmas presents have been given out?" 

**Akko & Diana:** "Actually I still have one for Akko (Diana)!" 

**Akko & Diana:** ... 

**Akko:** "You first!" 

**Diana:** "No, you are the guest in my home, you should go first." 

**Akko:** "Together?" 

**Diana:** "Very well, if you  _ insist _ on a compromise." _-they both reach behind themselves and pull out small ring boxes presenting it to each other-_

**Akko & Diana:** .... 

**Amanda:** _ -laughing her ass off-  _

**Lotte & Barbara:** _ -trying not shriek in delight-  _

**Akko:** "Diana..." 

**Diana:** "Akko.., ye-" 

**Akko:** "mine's bigger" 

**Diana:** …

* * *

** Diana does not compute Pt.1 **

**Akko:** "Hey Diana, if you could have sex with anyone but me, who would you have sex with" 

**Diana:** "I do not.., I do not understand the question?"

**Akko:** "If you were not dating me, and you could, well you can, date any other girl you wanted and absolutely ruin her, who would it be?"

**Diana:** "I do not think I am grasping what you are telling me Akko"  


**Akko:** "If you could have any other woman, APART FROM ME, who would it be"

**Diana:** ..... _-looks off with an a thousand yard stare like Akko just asked her to comprehend infinity-_

** Diana does not compute Pt.2 **

**Akko:** _ -looking very tired and haggard, like she is about to give up-  _

**Diana:** "Well.. if I absolutely had to consider someone other than you.., I would say Hannah"

**Akko:** _-sighs heavily in relief-_

**Diana** : "With her haired dyed brown, wearing your clothes and copying your mannerisms to a T, she does very good impersonations when trying"  


**Akko:** "ehfckjlkdfsmvhkdjnkf"

* * *

** Diana Error 404 **

**Diana:** -looking through some photos with Akko, comes across a photo of two Akko's posing in front of the Tokyo tower- "Oh marvelous Akko, you have the duplicate spell down to a T" 

**Akko:** _-chuckles-_ "No, no, that's my twin sister!" 

**Diana:** ..."pardon" 

**Akko:** "Yeah, me and Ayako! We are almost exactly alike" 

**Diana:** "T..t-..two Akko's" 

****Akko:** "I guess you could say that" **

* * *

**If Akko screams in the woods?**  
  
-Diana and Akko on camping trip-

**Diana:** "Akko? Did you remember to pack the map"  


**Akko:** "When love is involved, you don't need a map, OUR HEARTS WILL GUIDE THE WAY" 

**Diana:** "That's sweet, but I'd really love to double check a map"

...

...

**Diana:** "DID YOU FORGET THE TENT TOO!"  


**Akko:** ...

**Tecnhically, she did**

**Diana:** "If you see a bear, what do you do?"  


**Akko:** "RUN!"

**Diana:** "No, you can't out run a bear!"

**Akko:** "I out run one at school and it was like, five times bigger than a normal bear"

**Diana:** "..."

* * *

**L E G S**

**Diana:** "Akko.. I respect that you think your skirt is cute, but as your girlfriend.., I am uncomfortable with people leering at you.."  


**Akko:** "While I think your blowing this way out of proportion, I'll cover my legs with some stockings."

**Diana:** "Thank you."  


_ -Akko starts wearing stockings/nylon panty hoes-  _

**Diana:** "..Oh no this is much worse"

* * *

** Kissing Booth **

**Akko:** "I should set up a kissing booth to raise money for Luna Nova."

**Diana:** **-chuckles-** "While that is an adorable and admiral way of raising money, I doubt you will get many customers."  


_ -Next morning Akko sets up a small £1 = 1 Kiss booth and ends up with a large que-  _

**Hannah:** "Oh shit, I guess Akko's cuteness is enough to get her customers."

**Barbara:** "She also did help save the world, so?.. Where's Diana?"

**Diana:** _-In que with a £100-_  


* * *

**Poor Little Queer**

**Amanda:** "Hey Akko, where do you keep your porn?"

**Akko:** "My what?"

**Amanda:** "Porn, you know you spank bank, your female catalogue, your release material."

**Akko:** "I.. I don't have any..."  


**Amanda:** _-places hand on Akko's shoulder-_ "Oh you poor little queer"

* * *

**Turn off**

**Sucy:** "Listening to Akko masturbate was fine, but now she keeps saying Diana and now it's a real turn off"

**Lotte:** "... SUCY!"

**Sucy:** "What?"

**Lotte:** "WE'RE EATING LUNCH"

**Akko:** "..."  


**Amanda:** "..."  


**Jasminka:** "..."

**Con:** "[no different]"

**Sucy:** "My point still stands"  
  
_-BONUS-_  


**Lotte:** "...y-you only listen to Akko right?"

**Sucy:** "What are you talking about, screamer?"

* * *

** How I met your mother **  
  


**Akko:** "FUCK YOU AMANDA!"

**Amanda:** "FUCK ME? YOU COULDN'T EVEN FUCK DIANA"

**Akko:** "I SO COULD FUCK DIANA"  


**Amanda:** "GO ON AND DO IT THEN!"

**Akko:** "FINE I WILL"

\--- 

**Akko:** "and that's how me and your mother started dating"

* * *


	2. The next lot

** Diana.., no  
  
  
** **Akko:** "Diana, would you still love me if I was old and grey?"

**Diana:** "Akko..."

**Diana:** "Magic can be used to revitalise hair cells so you won't have to worry about going grey." 

**Akko:** "..."

* * *

**So is that a yes?**

**Diana:** "Akko.."  _ nervously entwines her fingers with a Japanese girl, fearing to make eye contact _ "I have a question for you?" 

**Akko:** "What is it?" 

**Diana:** "Would..."  _ She tightens her grips as her eyes rise to make contact with the all-consuming red of Akko's _ "Would you like it if..., we were to.., go out? You and me.. romantically?" 

**Akko:** ......"You mean we haven't been dating already?" 

**Diana:** .."Pardon?"

* * *

** I mean, she has a point... **

**  
  
Akko:** "DIANA! Did you know there were witches in feudal japan!"  


**Diana:** "I was partly aware, but I had not done extensive research on them, so I will say no." 

**Akko:** "Yeah, it says a lot of them had their powers tied to the element of fire and were masters of illusions!"   


**Diana:** "Well that certainly explains your application of metamorphosis"

**Akko:** "Thanks!"

**Diana:** "As well as your explosive results with everything else."   


**Akko:** "HEY"

* * *

**Oh no**   
  


**Diana:** "Hannah?"  


**Hannah:** "Hm?" 

**Diana:** "I have taken to notice that whenever I and Akko have you and Amanda over, your always the one holding young Jean and never Amanda"   


**Amanda:** _-almost chokes on her tea-_

**Akko:** "Yeah, I noticed this too, why is that?" 

**Hannah:** "Yes, Amanda, honey, dear, love of my life, why is it that  _ YOU _ are not allowed to hold the baby?" 

**Amanda:** _-swallows tea-_

**Amanda:** "I'm banned from holding the baby" 

**Diana:** "You are.., banned? From holding the Baby..., why?" 

**Hannah:** _ -staring daggers at Amanda-  _

**Amanda:** "...Amanda drop baby" 

**Diana & Akko:** "YOU DROPPED THE BABY!" 

**Amanda: "** Amanda drop baby, Amanda is banned from holding baby"

* * *

**No hesitation**

**Amanda:** "If one of you was bitten by a zombie, would you shoot them or let them turn?"   


**Akko:** "Oh that's a tough one, I dunno, I might have to thin-"   


**Diana:** "I would shoot Akko"

**Akko:** "WHA-"

**Diana:** "She is not allowed to bite anyone but me"

**Amanda:** "Wai-"

* * *

**Food Sex? Pt.1 NSFW**   
  


_ Diana returning home from a long day of work-  _

**Diana:** "AKKO I'M HOME!" 

**Akko:** "I- ah, fu, I'M UP STAIRS!" 

**Diana:** "Akko are you alright?" 

_-starts to make her way upstairs, opening the door, to see Akko laying on her bed naked, covered in animal shaped chicken nuggets-_

**Akko:** "A-fu, ah, hello Dia- AH SHIT, Diana.., as you can see, Dinner is ready~" 

**Akko:** _-gestures to herself, while holding back tears-_

**Diana:** "..., I do not..., what..., nuggets?" 

**Akko:** "Please eat, it hurts"

* * *

**Food Sex? Pt.2 NSFW  
  
**

_ -Akko covered with grease burns as Diana rubs ointment onto her skin-  _

**Diana:** "Honestly Akko, while the gesture was..." _-looks long into Akko's tearful face-_ "misguidedly romantic, I do not see why you resulted to chicken shapes of all things" 

**Akko:** "Oh they weren't my first choice" 

**Diana:** "Pardon?" 

**Akko:** "I tried a lot of things before I gave up and went to chicken nuggies" 

**Diana:** "...." _-stands up and makes her way to the kitchen-_

****Akko:** "DIANA NO!" **

* * *

**Food Sex? Pt.3 NSFW  
  
**

**Akko:** "And so Diana made me sleep on the couch that night, said that I was banned from doing anything else inside the kitchen besides cook food" 

**Amanda:** "Yeah honestly, being playful with food is more hassle than it's worth dude?" 

**Akko:** "Why what did you do wrong?"

**Amanda:** "I wha-.., you know it was mine and Hannah's anniversary a week ago?" 

**Akko:** _-stares at Amanda with a long blank stare-_ "I do now" 

**Amanda:** "....ANYWAY, I thought I'd surprise her, get some fruit, strawberries, blueberries, shove a banana up ass, you know" 

**Akko:** "Wait did you actually shove a banana up your ass" 

**Amanda:** "Cause the idea was that I was gonna have melted chocolate on me from my tits to my vag that she could lick and dip to her heart's content" 

**Akko:** "No seriously, did you stick a banana up your ass, don't ignore me" 

**Amanda:** "Only to end up waiting so long that I fall asleep, half of it's smeared on the bed, and the other hand is so rock hard I can't even sort myself out after Hannah's kicked me out for the night" 

**Akko:** "....." 

**Amanda:** "...." 

**Akko:** "...did the banana get smooshed?

* * *

**Diana & Akko get a Dog NSFW  
**

**Akko:** "DIANA! CAN WE GET A DOG!"

**Diana:** "No, we'd have to look after it and neither of us have the time.." 

**Akko:** "BUT I'M REALLY GOOD WITH DOGS, I HAD ONE WHEN I WAS A KID, AND YOU'VE KEPT DOGS!" 

**Diana:** "Those were hunting dogs and what your asking fo-" 

**Akko:** "DIANA PLEEEEASE, PLEEEASE, I NEED TO GIVE BELLY RUBS! PLEASE DIANA" 

**Diana:** "Akko..." 

**Akko:** "DIIIIAAAANNAAA!"  
  
 **Ending A:**  


-Next morning- 

**Diana:** "After taking your please into consideration, here -hands Akko a collar and leash" 

**Akko:** "DIANA YOU GOT US A DOG!" 

**Diana:** "In a manner of speaking" 

**Akko:** "WHERE IS SHE! HUH! HUH! WHERE IS THE CUTIE" 

**Diana:** _-takes the collar from Akko's hand and snaps it around her wife's neck-_ "Right here" 

**Akko:** "....."  
  
 **Ending B:**  


**Diana:** "Akko..., if we get a dog, I'm.. I'm worried that you'll focus more of your affection on it over me, I don't want to become jealous over an animal." 

**Akko:** "Oh Diana..." _-hugs her wife and rubs her head-_

**Diana:** "Akko..." 

**Akko:** _-pulls back with a large smirk-_ "THEN I CAN TRAIN YOU TO BE THE DOG! SO YOU WON'T GET JEALOUS AND GET MORE LOVE!" 

**Diana:** "..what..."

**Akko:** - _pounces Diana-_

**Diana:** "AKKO WAIT!"

* * *

**Con x Amanda  
  
  
Amanda:** _ sighs, looks to Con's and smirks, kissing the top of her head when there is no reaction she continue her small pecks of affection down the side of her head to her cheek,  _

**Cons:** "mm..."   


**Amanda:** _grins as her hands slowly trail up the inventors hips, circling to waist as she starts snake up the vest, unbuttoning her way to the woman's tie as she unwinds and removes it, pulling it free with a swift motion_ "If you want me to stop, just say my name~" 

**Cons:** "Mmmm..." _blushes but says nothing_

**Amanda:** _takes hold of the top button of the german's shirt and slowly dances her hand down, exposing the smaller girl's chest and stomach until her finger's halt at the hem of her skirt_ "You know what to do if you want me to stop right?" 

**Cons:** _Swallows, but nods_   


**Amanda:** "Good" _presses a kiss to the back of her head_ "Scream if you want to go faster" _As the American dives her hand below_  


**Cons:** _ screams _

* * *

_The following are scenes from an AU idea where Akko and crew try to make an amatuer porno inspired by[Luxra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxrva/pseuds/luxrva)_

**Amatuer Pono AU Pt.1 NSFW**

**Lotte:** "Are we really going to do this? Aside from the possible legal ramifications, we could get into.."   


**Sucy:** "I've done worse."

**Lotte:** "Are we comfortable..., having..s-se-sex with one another?"  _ A brief silence takes the room as the girl's look at each other with unease and a hint of a blush _

**Amanda:** "Well, ask yourself, could you bare sleeping with Akko, if so, then it would be no problem!"   


**Akko:** "WHY AM I THE LOW BAR!"

* * *

**Amatuer Pono AU Pt.2 NSFW  
**

**Clerk:** "Can I help you?" 

**Akko:** "Yes, I would like to buy.., your best dildo please..." 

**Clerk:** "Kid have you ever bought a sex toy before?" 

**Akko:** "Haha, I have bought SO many sex toys before, I'm the QUEEN of.. fucking, people..."

**Clerk: "** .....Do you need help?" 

**Akko:** "Oh god yes please, I have no idea what I'm doing, do I need a condom? I'm fucking a woman? Why are there so many sizes? Do I need a ball gag?  What is a ball gag? Sucy told me to get a ball gag, is that the thing that goes into your ass, I don't want anything going into my ass."

* * *

**Amatuer Pono AU Pt.3 NSFW  
  
**

**Amanda:** "Okay, so, which strap on would you like to use when fucking prim and proper to Bent and broken?" 

_ -Amanda holds up two bundles of straps with different sized phallus attached to either one, one Akko deemed a reasonable size, the other, very unreasonable-  _

**Akko:** "Well, I don't want to kill her, so the human sized one, please." 

**Amanda:** "Okay, but you would be surprised how much a girl can take." 

**Akko:** "I know you think I'm an idiot." 

**Amanda:** "You are, continue." 

**Akko:** "But I am fairly certain, no human can stretch THAT much" 

**Amanda:** "People are surprisingly stretchy." 

**Sucy:** "If it's of comfort, mine's bigger." 

**Akko:** _-shudders-_ "Sucy, you are not normal." 

**Sucy:** "I know, I'm better."  


* * *

**Amatuer Pono AU Pt.4 NSFW  
  
** ****

**Diana:** "Amanda, I've looked over your script and to be quite honest.., it's dreadful, it's three pages of dialogue and then endless descriptions of debauchery" 

**Amanda:** _ -blinks-  _

**Diana:** "Sex, Amanda, it's nothing but sex!" 

**Amanda:** "you..., you do know what a porno is.., right?"

**Sucy:** "Guess Diana wouldn't like any of Lotte's writing"

* * *

**Where do babies come from?**   
  


_ -Sucy held out the pink bubbling potion to the revoltingly 'lovely' couple that made up her friend Akko and 'the other one'-  _

**Akko:** "So.., All I gotta do is drink this and I'll have Diana's baby?" 

**Sucy:** "You sound disappointing, did you want me to give something that made you grow a dick?" 

_ -Diana visibly shudders under the thought, while Akko herself becomes unresponsive for some time-  _

**Akko:** "J-Just tell me how the potion works.." 

**Sucy:** "Simply take a strand of Diana's hair, place it in the vial, shake, and consume." 

**Akko:** "ERGH, I have to drink Diana's  _ HAIR" -The Japanese witch shuddered-  _

**Sucy:** "That or Diana gives you a good dicking." 

**Diana:** "We aren't going to with that option, right Akko..., AKKO?" 

**Akko:** "Yeah.. but.. hair?" 

**Sucy:** "Would you rather use her blood or skin?" 

**Akko:** "If our child asks where they came from, I dunno if I can stomach telling them the answer."

* * *


End file.
